Behind the scenes

I've contemplated deleting Substack a thousand times since after my birthday.

I never felt much of a writer after I wrote a birthday letter to myself. I would open my Substack and wonder why I created it in the first place. If I wasn't gisting you guys, then there won't be articles and that's bad because I live in a girl's hostel and unlike before, the hostel is relatively quiet now.

I also abandoned my writing project for the longest. When I saw it yesterday, the book had caught so much dust, I felt bad for it. I didn't think the storyline was perfect, I thought it wasn't worth it. I was convinced so many people have written something similar so it wasn't necessary anymore.

So, I told my friend a few weeks or days back andddd..okay, you guys, I have a threat following me if I ever decide to quit Substack. People are ready to come at me with arrows and bows.

The thing is that, I forgot.

I forgot why I opened Substack in the first place. It wasn't because I wanted to put out perfect works. It was to put out imperfect thoughts.

I created Substack because I wanted a place I could call my own and after January, I forgot.

I was chasing so much perfection. I wanted to be so polished. I started comparing myself to everyone and everything. It didn't also help that I had people constantly reminding me about imperfect I look. One spoke about my hairy leg and I considered shaving it off. Shame on the devil sha but that's a story for another day, alright.

Yesterday, I read my book while loosening my hair and I realized what I needed to do. First of all, I was too excited about the project that I jumped into everything. I just wanted to see it to the end. I was chasing being called “author” rather than the the story I hope to be passing along. That's why I stopped halfway because as much as I want to be called an author, I want my book to be impactful.

So, I'm going to take my time and rewrite the storyline. It's still going to be the same book but I don't want it to end the way I had already envisioned it to end, I'll be adding more tweaks.

Behind the scenes, I'm also working on being a better person. I feel when people hire you, they trust you to perform and if you don't perform, it's bad. I loveee to give people value for their money and I also take pride in being the best at what I do. I became a community manager…I don't know…out of the blues, alright. It just happened. So part of my…is this the second quarter?…yes, part of my goals is learning community management from scratch.

I'm also a better person because I didn't like following plans before. You see me and to-do list? Mortal enemies before but now, we are the best of friends. I wake up by 5 am everyday (except of course I was forced to take sleeping pills the previous night) and I write up my to-do list. I make sure to capture everything I need to do that day in a book, then I transfer it to my phone. Now, I can't avoid or forget any of my tasks, right? At the end of the day, I check out the ones I could do and the ones I couldn't do then I shift them over to the next day. Yayy! I'm a better Miriam.

I'm equally planning to return to LinkedIn by September. So many of my friends have been asking questions about why I left and when I'll be back. I'm not returning because of them, I'm doing that because as much as you need to build in silence for a while, visibility is important. I can't stress that enough.

Behind the scenes, I'm trying not to shoot some men. These people will test your patience in ways you can't even imagine it. In Keke, in the bus, in the market o, everywhere. I don't want to buy anything, why are you holding my hand and dragging me? If I collect that your trouser and run away, shebi you'll call me thief? You'll forget that you were the one that started it o. Don't worry nah.

These days, I don't know if '“come to my house” is the new national anthem for some of you. One day, I'll definitely “come to the house” and I'll steal your television and your refrigerator since you don't want to have sense.

Behind the scenes, I'm also learning to be a peaceful person. I'm a peaceful person sha. It's just that I get tested sometimes.

Oya, byeee, lemme be a good person and listen in class.